Weekly Art Blog 8/3-8/10/2024

I got the Dry Cleaning album New Long Leg the other day. I decided to draw a picture of “a woman in aviators firing a bazooka” while listening to Scratchcard Lanyard. So here is that picture. The main image I had for the picture was that she would be wearing a leather jacket. It was fun to make. Part of me felt too stiff with it, but I think the uncaring look fits the vibe of the song better. Check out the song, check out the band; it’s great punk music, and the singer does this talk-singing that sounds amazing.

I am feeling a bit squirrely at the moment. After working on a few bigger, dynamic pieces, I went back to working on my comic strip, and it doesn’t feel the same. Which is to be expected, since they’re very different works. I keep wanting to stretch myself artistically, and I got to do so in fun and exciting ways, so now it feels less exciting to go back for something with simpler construction. I mean, that’s the whole point of the strip; it’s supposed to have simple construction so I can focus on the characters and expressions. Because it’s my first time switching between the strip and illustrations, I’m taking that whiplash harder to my motivation. I’m sure I’ll get more used to it over time, because I want to keep doing both. I want better skills for the future, and I want the confidence of knowing I can complete a long project, like the ones I want to use that skill to produce.

Another thing I experienced these last couple weeks is that I would get done with some part of my work earlier than I expected, and I didn’t know what to do with the rest of my time. I do not like the feeling of not knowing what to do with a chunk of time. I can find ways to fill it that I’d enjoy, but I’ll feel guilty for not taking better advantage of it, since I have a lot of things I want to accomplish. At the same time, if I spend all night drawing and have an extra hour or two more than I thought leftover, I’m not good at making my creativity switch to some other project. Like, I don’t have a lot of regularly scheduled activities, beyond writing this blog. Retail work doesn’t lend itself to keeping your life on any kind of schedule, you know? Every week is different, and I’m required to have an open schedule. Art is an activity I’m better at in the second half of the day than the first, but I can’t guarantee that I’ll have time then on a set schedule; I do draw on breaks at work, but it’s not always a great time for that, since I’ll need to spend break time destressing. It does work well enough for me to draw when I can, but I do think I would benefit from having a regular schedule that I could keep for myself.

I guess what I could use is a ritual, right? I’m usually on a delay, where I have to let my feelings and thoughts catch up to me and what I’m doing. That’s part of the reason why I often trim my cuticles before drawing: I decide to draw, then I get the things I need and sit down to do it, and then I do something else focused on my hands while I get my mind resituated. If I could find some sort of, “And now, this,” exercise, I could maybe oil the gears so they change faster. Or rather, it shouldn’t be about speed and efficiency; I want to be able to get into a creative mindset when I want to be creative and push past the repetitive, extraneous concerns and feelings. I know there’s a nervousness and anxiety that always happens when I sit down to draw, there’s a set pattern to the concerns and jitters that float through me. I know it’s always fine, that I can do what I want, and that I’ll get past it all pretty easily. I want to be able to tell myself, “Yes, I know, and it’s ok,” and then get to it, because I already know these feelings are a part of me. Instead of stepping all over my feet as I do this dance over and over, I want to do the spin and bow so I can get to work.