This week, I have been feeling the burn of the Christmas season more. I am very tired of these 6 AM start times at work (which will fortunately end next week), and my body is feeling the effects of all the throwing around of boxes. By the time I get home, so much has already happened in the day that it’s hard to gather the mental energy to do much, and that’s starting to get more apparent to me. I am going to figure out how to readjust around that reality, because I haven’t gotten as much drawing done this week as I’d like. That said, what I did do was really engaging for me. I did some sketches of my OGN characters in a more cartoony style than I’ve used in a while, and I just love it so much. It immediately scratches an itch in a way that I haven’t had with the big illustrations. It’s simple and expressive in the exact way I want. That’s the balance I need in my comics. One difference that’s always been top of mind for me between manga and American comics is that there’s a lot more shifting between simpler and more detailed illustrations between panels and such based on need in manga. At the very least, the virtuosic aesthetic that’s come to dominate superhero comics doesn’t leave a lot of room for that. I want to use the more detailed stuff for impact and mostly use a simpler style that works better for my storytelling preferences, and I think I’ve landed on the right balance of elements in style to make that happen how I want. So it’s very exciting for me.
This week, I want to talk about a few things that have been on my mind. One thing that I was gratified to notice recently, when looking at my older drawings, is that I can see a lot more of the under drawing lines in my current work, compared to the past. Like, it took me until I was at least twenty to start using any drafting in my drawings, after seeing how the process could look by tracing over pencil drawings in pen. I first added blue lines, and I was really exacting with how I put together the shapes. I used a ruler a lot. After a while, I added a red layer below that, so I could get a more general sense of everything before being exacting in blue and then putting down the lines. At a certain point, for simple sketches, I started drawing right over red lines, and that’s become my standard process. I go really general with red, slowly adding up details and sharpening up the important bits, and then I draw right over that. I used to care a lot if my starting head circle in blue was close to a perfect circle, so that it would be even and repeatable every time. Every part of the blue line was that way, so that when I drew, it was basically tracing, and most of the under drawing wasn’t visible. Nowadays, you can see all kinds of red underneath and around, because I can pick out the shape from somewhere along the path and it’ll always end up looking right. I don’t even use a ruler unless I need to do some kind of proportion, like how I drew the couch first in that illo from last week. I feel a lot more free and technically capable, knowing that my eyes and hands don’t need the training wheels.
I also had this thought recently, that the main reason I want to make comics is stimming. I would rather throw myself through a window than sit around with nothing to do, so I always have to keep my mind occupied. I’m rarely thinking about what I’m currently doing. Comics are the thing I love the most, so I spend a lot of time thinking about them. That naturally means I want to make some of my own. As it turns out, it’s fun, so it works out really well. I want to embrace that idea as a way of getting over fears of being seen. I’ve spent so much of my life worrying if the way I am is bad for others and how to fit in, and that’s applied to my art, as well. One way I can get past that concern is to focus on the fact that I’m just making these comics so I have something to do. I’m the primary audience, I’m the one I’m trying to satisfy, I’m the reason for these comics to exist. I am enough, I am capable, and I don’t have to justify anything to anyone or change to suit their tastes. I know from experience that’s always the best sort of art, filled with personal flavor. We find each other in ourselves. Plus, I want to encourage myself to pick up a pencil more often. It’s ultimately what I want to do, so I want to get past anything that keeps me from it.
I saw the Superman trailer, of course, and it’s just wonderful. I love the optimism and the brightness and the insanity. Krypto is perfect. The return to bright idealism and decency that this movie wants to bring to superheroes makes me think of this article I keep wanting to write about why superheroes shouldn’t kill. But at the end of the day, what is there to say? Superheroes are idealistic, by definition. They do all the stuff we think people should do, but can’t always in real life. One of our ideals is that killing is bad, so obviously the classically good people shouldn’t do it. I don’t know what else to say, because it seems like an obvious, baseline statement. Just because you want to hurt the “bad people” doesn’t mean it’s good to hurt people, especially when the badness of them hurting people is what makes you want to hurt them. Superheroes aren’t the space for you to explore a desire to hurt people; they’re the good guys who do the right thing. If that’s too sappy, too corny for you, then good. Be embarrassed that you can’t be that good, be too embarrassed to face a person who’s so good they make you feel ashamed of your shortcomings. The burning means it’s working.
I’ll leave you with this last one this week. I keep coming across things about knowing when to stop. You know, like how working yourself to the breaking point isn’t doing your best, because you can’t perform as well at that point. So I keep thinking about the advice I got in karate class, “Go as fast as you can, not as fast as you can’t.” Know your limits, be forgiving, all that jazz.
Weekly Art Blog 12/14-12/21/2024
Life in the Gutters 