Last week, I teased that I would be drawing a kaiju with a really long tail, and I have delivered on that promise. I have no name for this creature at the moment. For as much as I like how this turned out, I do wonder if the tail should be even longer, you know? To balance that out, I also gave them a stupid giant jaw. The legs are built for speed, because a tail that long makes the most sense to me and would look the best on a runner. This kaiju does not have any fire breath or other special powers, only tail. A tail so long and powerful that when it’s swung like a whip, the tip is moving at Mach 10 (at least) and produces a plasma flash as strong as lightning. Giant monsters are fun, right? I will say, the colors here aren’t necessarily the final choices. I like the level of contrast they show, but I’m still debating it. I am also starting to think about my philosophy of kaiju design, and perhaps this is actually too saurian for me; would it look better, and more monstrous, if its body plan was clearly a mismatch for its anatomical features? Probably just my love for guy-in-a-suit designs, but you can’t argue with how much more monster-y Godzilla looks because of his upright stance when you know he’s a therapod.
This week saw the arrival of our fascist wannabe dictator into the White House, and immediately he signed an order declaring that people like me don’t exist. You know, before going on a government-wide purge of anyone employed to protect the civil rights of vulnerable minorities. Probably signaling some very dark actions in the future as he tries to eliminate the “ideology of transgenderism,” also known as trans people existing. The exact kind of obvious Nazi crap we all said he would do before he was elected in 2016, and that he literally promised he would do during this election. All of this happening while journalists are fired for pointing out that Elon Musk did a Nazi salute on national TV, twice, while we were all watching him. So, a great day to be an American, right?
Like, I am trying to keep this blog focused on art, especially mine, for the moment, because I want to stay focused on what brings me meaning and joy. And on that note, seeing the stuff happen in real life is bringing to mind again my relationship with my art, as we move into this new era. After all, not only am I a queer artist, I also make comics about interracial lesbian couples. Like, sure, I have other ideas, but such couples appear in those stories, too. I always had some concern for how widely my art would spread, growing up and living in the Bible Belt, and now there could be active censorship and other government actions. I mean, I don’t want to jump ahead – that hasn’t happened yet, hopefully it won’t, and I don’t want to cede ground before it happens in a nascent dictatorship – so let’s emphasize the “could.” Recognizing realistic threats matters. They already sent the secret service to a school in Chicago to question (who knows, maybe arrest) an 11-year-old for posting a video disparaging the president on social media. This is the first week, folks. So, you know, thinking about what could happen to me because I’m me and make the art I make.
First, why are these the comics I’m making? I honestly don’t know if I have a clear answer for that, besides that it’s what I like. I like women, writing stories about them, and romantic and sexual relationships between them. Having been raised as a boy, I’ve been steeped in emotionally unavailable masculinity, in surface-level friendships, in the danger of vulnerability (from our culture; my family is great). I am aware that those kinds of issues can exist with anyone, but my experience is that women at least seem to have a much easier time forming emotionally substantive relationships with each other. It’s beautiful, enviable, and fascinating. When you step into the arena of queer romance, it’s even more so, because now you’re in the best place to examine how queer a relationship friendship is in the first place, and how difficult it is to navigate and differentiate between your connections, affections, and expressions. It’s fun. Because I am not a woman, nor was I raised as one, it’s a world I’ve seen through a window, and my curiosity cannot be sated. I want something other than myself.
As for the interracial element, I have actually always struggled to express it. Part of it is the desire to experience something different described above. Part of it is that it’s just more visually compelling to see two people who look distinctly different engaging with one another, in art and real life. Part of it is probably that I grew up surrounded by black people, to the point that I was actually sad when I heard that only 13% of the population was; I literally thought, “Where did all the black people go?” because in my head, there were way more. Part of it is probably a reaction against American racism, and the inherent beauty and symbolism of people from different backgrounds coming together in love. Part of it is that, honestly, I find nonwhite people more attractive, and would like to be in an interracial relationship; there is a level of wish fulfillment going on. Part of it is that I want to make stories with a diverse cast, so it works really well to plan on important relationships that require such a cast. There’s elements of personal desire and preference, and elements of my values in the world. My art needs to be something I truly enjoy, and I want it to reflect a version of the world I find more interesting and beautiful.
All of which is to say, as we enter into a regime of renewed and empowered oppression of minorities, my art is a statement of my values, fully opposed to this movement. I want to live in a world where the women I write about can live and love more freely, with no one making a big deal about their togetherness. I want to live in a world where we don’t have to fight over every little fraction of an inch of ground, so can be fully immersed in our own worlds. Basically, I want the world to be one where the art I like to make isn’t a political statement. I’d be making it either way. Since we are where we currently are, it has to be, and so be it.
Not to toot my own horn too much – I am not the face of the resistance, bravely leading the charge with an image of two absolute smokeshows with different skin colors making out. But, you know, if our enemy is the type to call what I’m making immoral “woke” smut while they search for interracial lesbian porn on the porn sites they’re also trying to ban, then I guess that’s…really sad? This is all very sad, despite my glib tone. I don’t want to be in any sort of position like this. My art isn’t meant to be explicitly political or polemic. The cultural issues of the day are all projection: They’re the ones that care, and we are forced to fight back so we can live our lives. The extent of the political values I have in my art are, like, “Be nice to each other, and so try to understand each other.” I don’t know when that became controversial, assuming it ever wasn’t.
Life is already hard, and I have a difficult time processing it. Life always makes sense in the pages of a comic book. I’m making these comics because I love them. They bring me joy and meaning. Especially when the fight is now so much more explicit than it’s ever been, I need that. I need to see the world as it should be, and hopefully I can show it to others, as well. And so, I won’t stop or hide or slow down, but rather do the opposite. When this country was born, the Founding Fathers lied about wanting true equality for everyone, while keeping women, nonwhite people, sexual minorities, and others from seeing a lick of freedom. Our current administration is on a quest to uphold and amplify that inequality by force, using that lie as their cover. What better way to turn that lie into the truth (for me, at least) than to make a comic where two wonderful AFAB people of different colors just go to town on each other, without all the baggage we have now? That’s what I call America, a land of true love and freedom for everyone.
Weekly Art Blog 1/18-1/26/2025
Life in the Gutters 