The heroes of Earth looked on, confused by this bizarre turn of events. “Who are you?” Puttee asked Dragon. “What’s going on?” Torta struggled to get back up, but could not. Regal was similarly immobile.
“Puttee…” Gaita called her sister. Puttee went to her sister and started repairing her damaged circuits.
Dragon approached Torta and helped him up to a seat at the camp site before doing the same for Regal. “My name is Dragon, and I’m a Saiyan,” Dragon explained as he did this. “Just like that guy Hedarrow I just defeated. I’m a rebel against the Saiyan Empire,” he pointed to a crest on his green jacket, “which has been growing a lot in recent years. They’ve been clashing with the Demon Clan, too, and it’s been through these conflicts that the Empire learned about the Rainbow Dragon Balls. The emperor, Daikon, wants the balls so he can become immortal, though I guess he had some other wishes, too, given that immortality wasn’t first on his list.”
“I take it Daikon is a bad dude?” Puttee asked.
“Most people who wish for immortality are, right?” Dragon asked rhetorically. “Yeah, he’s really bad. Heh, sorry, I felt myself going into the rebel recruitment speech for a second! You Earthlings probably don’t know a lot about us, right? The Saiyans have always been a warrior people, but Daikon’s family, which took over a few generations ago, really changed things. They’ve only ever cared about power and dominance, and Saiyan culture has grown colder and more ruthless as a result. A basic countermeasure to being overthrown that Daikon’s father introduced is to take Saiyans like me, born with high battle potential, remove their tails, and then ship them off to a faraway planet. See, Daikon believes in the myth that a young Saiyan’s potential is cut in half without a tail.”
“If you grew up away from home,” Puttee asked, “then how do you know so much about it?”
“Well, yeah, I grew up on a small mining colony, but I didn’t stay there my whole life. When I was a teenager, other exiled Saiyans in the resistance picked me up and started teaching me their whole deal. I actually rejected it all at first. I was convinced that if I went home and showed them how good I was, then they’d accept me. But all I got was ridicule and cruelty, and I learned firsthand how bad the Empire really is. So, here we are! I’ve been a rebel fighter ever since, and they think a lot of me.”
“What about when Hedarrow’s hair turned yellow?” Torta asked.
“That’s called Super Saiyan,” Dragon said. “Saiyans apparently are prone to transforming; Saiyans with tails can become big apes in a full moon, and there are legends about others. Anyway, Super Saiyan is where, under the right circumstances, a Saiyan experiencing intense rage transforms into a more powerful state. The only change you see is the hair and eyes, but it’s all over. I thought I would get it a few times, but it never happened.” He sighed. “I guess it never will, either, now. Assuming the wish worked as stated, the only Super Saiyans that should exist are Daikon and his officers.” Dragon approached Spats. “She with you guys?”
“Uh, no,” Torta said. “She’s been trying to kill us and get the balls for herself.”
“But she’s my sister and we’re taking her with us,” Puttee said.
“I mean, I want to, for you, but we’re nearly dead and she’s always at full strength,” Torta said. “I don’t think we’re in a ‘capture’ position.”
“Why worry?” Puttee asked. “The balls can’t be found now, so I’m sure we can talk our way past this bs.”
“Actually, they’re not impossible to find,” Dragon said. “At the end, I’m guessing Hedarrow put something on the Dragon Balls?”
“Yeah…” Torta said with anticipation. “It was dust of some kind.”
“I figured,” Dragon said. “Intel was that the Empire was planning to put tracking nanites on the Dragon Balls, so that they could be tracked more easily. I actually have the signal for them, too; follow that, and it’s way more accurate than anything else on the market. But of course, that also means—”
“What?!” Spats cried out, springing to her feet. Torta, Puttee, Regal, and Gaita all took guard. “Where is it?! I need that frequency! I need to get my wish!”
“Don’t give it to her!” Torta said. “She’s going to wish for an Earth tyrant to control the universe!”
“You don’t know anything about me!” Spats declared. “Give me the frequency now! You want the balls away from your enemy, right? Well, I can grab one and keep it away from them! It helps you, too! Now, give it here!”
“She’s been trying to murder us for months!” Regal said. “She’s obsessive and untrustworthy!”
“I haven’t killed you yet, have I?” Spats asked.
“Just give her the frequency,” Puttee said. Torta and Gaita were stunned.
Regal growled. “I know she’s your sister,” Regal said, “but please stop seeing the best in her! She’s proven that she cares more about being better than doing better!”
“You got orders from the king, right?” Puttee asked Spats. “Is this your duty to the crown?”
Spats’s face softened, betraying vulnerability. “Yes,” she said after a pause.
“Give her the frequency,” Puttee said. “And if any of you don’t like it, I suggest you try to stop her now.”
Dragon hesitated a moment. “I mean, I’m not supposed to give this to just anyone,” he said. “I guess this drama I don’t know about is working in that direction, but why should I trust you? Spats, was it?”
“All I care about is the mission,” Spats said. “I…I have to keep doing this. The king gave me money, and I have my mission.”
Dragon looked into her eyes, wavering slightly in trying to maintain constant strength. He sighed. “Ok, I guess it does help me if you have it,” he said. He pressed a button to summon his ship from the sky. “I’ll pass it along once the ship lands.”
Torta, Regal, and Gaita watched with some disbelief as Dragon’s ship landed, and he and Spats entered to retrieve the relevant data for tracking the Dragon Balls. They emerged shortly afterwards, with Spats running out quickly to her ship. She stopped at the threshold of the main door and turned back to Puttee. “I’ll see you later,” Spats said. She then entered the ship, started the engines, and blasted off into the void.
“Why did you do that?” Torta asked Puttee.
“She’s not going to wish for universal domination for Silico,” Puttee said. “She’s always hated the royal family. When we were kids, we heard a ton about ‘doing your duty for the crown,’ so she started using that phrase to talk about her own crown. She’s doing this for herself. I mean, she actually hasn’t given us a reason to distrust her yet. She turned her Safety On before you were killed, and like…she could have made any kind of weapon to come after us, and she picked Androids. My thing. She just wants to play Androids with me, work out some of our dirty laundry in the process. It’s all cool!”
“I don’t think that sounds all cool,” said Torta.
“Not at all,” Gaita agreed.
“Indeed,” said Regal. “But are you sure about her wish? What’s done is done, so that’s the most pressing issue; we can work out our feelings later.”
“I’m 100% sure,” Puttee said.
“Well,” Dragon interjected, “I don’t want to get in the middle of all this, but I still have business with you all. The ball hunt is back on, and both the Saiyan Empire and the Demon Clan are going to be chasing after them with pinpoint accuracy. They’re massive and heavily resourced. Getting one ball will be a massive struggle, in all likelihood. I have spent the past month separated from my resistance forces, and I could really use a new crew. You seem like good people. What’s your wish?”
“Reviving everyone killed in some recent wars and conflicts on Earth,” said Torta. “Plus, we have Regal here, who everyone seems to be really impressed with.”
“I’m the Grand Elder of Namek’s guardian,” said Regal.
“Oh, really?!” said Dragon. “That’s awesome! And your wish sounds nice and noble. Yeah, I can get behind this. My wish would be to revive all those killed by the Saiyan Empire, so we kinda gel. If you’ll have me, I’d love to team up with you guys.”
“I think that sounds great!” said Torta.
“Me, too!” said Puttee.
“We could certainly use the help,” said Gaita.
“He does seem capable,” said Regal. “If a bit too trusting…”
“Eh, it’s in my nature,” said Dragon. “So, that said, I have an idea. We should split into two groups, double our chances of finding a ball. We each got a ship. We find a ball, meet up somewhere, and lure the owner of the rest to come fight us, and we steal theirs.”
“I agree with that logic, though it is risky,” said Torta.
“Yeah, I get that,” said Gaita. “At least the reward matches the risk, though.”
“Indeed,” said Regal. “We need to take this chance. The game just got a lot bigger, and we can’t play it slow and safe.”
“As long as I stay with Gaita, I’m fine,” said Puttee.
“Great!” said Dragon. “I could take one or two of you in my ship, then, and the others can take your ship?”
“We have three,” said Regal, pointing to the Demon Clan ship Hedarrow arrived in.
After some discussion, it was decided. Torta would travel with Dragon, Gaita and Puttee would take a ship for themselves, and Regal would go on her own. In order to best use their resources, Torta and Dragon would take the Devil’s Tincture in the Demon Clan ship, Regal would take command of the Rainbow Stocking for the gravity chamber, and Gaita and Puttee took the rest of Bravo’s parts to Dragon’s ship. With some more preparations, each ship and its crew were readied for their separate journeys.
Getting situated on the Demon Clan ship, Torta noted that it was a fairly bare-bones design, with little thought given to comfort. Dragon checked the navigation and made sure they were headed in the right direction, towards a planet called Zoon, as they took off. Dragon sighed. “This is a Namekian ship, so not a lot of food storage here,” he said. “We’ll have to stop for supplies often enough. Hopefully we can switch ships later.”
“I still think we should have taken your ship,” said Torta. “It was larger, which would have given us more room to train. Gaita can handle herself in a fight, so it’s not like they need our protection by taking the ship most likely to attract a fight.”
“I’ll tak your word on Gaita,” said Dragon, “but Puttee’s a noncombatant. Fair’s fair. We’ll make do.”
Torta sighed. “So, is there a place to train on this ship?”
Dragon’s eyes lit up. “Come on, let’s get to it!” He led Torta down to a lower deck, which contained a small but highly reinforced sparring chamber. “This is where we can train! It’s small, but it’ll do. It’s pretty standard issue for a war vessel like this to have a place martial artists can get stronger. I’m itching for a workout, too, you know? I was looking forward to my own Super Saiyan form to fight Daikon one day, but that’s not gonna happen now. I got a lot more ground to cover.”
Torta put a drop of the Devil’s Tincture in his canteen. “How exactly does Super Saiyan work?”
“Well, basically, it’s a complete physical change to accommodate and facilitate an explosion of power. They’re all over Saiyan legends as the greatest warriors in history. In general, the transformation brings about a certain level of power, like it multiplies strength by a certain factor. Around 50 times? It’s hard to tell exactly, but around there. I’ve gaged it pretty well and use that to help guide my training. They say it’s possible to get even stronger with it if you master the form, too.”
“And you don’t have it?”
“I can’t say why not. I’ve worked really hard, and been in situations where I thought it might happen. But whatever, right? It would just make things easier. To keep myself motivated, I remind myself that transforming is a shortcut to strength; if I work hard enough, I can get that strong anyway.” Dragon’s eyes betrayed a hint of doubt.
Torta was unsure. He agreed that they could train themselves to death, but their Saiyan enemies likely did the same thing, making their transformation that much more potent. Dragon was surely aware of this, too. Though Torta still did not know just how strong his enemies were, he was already worried that training on ships between fights would not be enough; knowing that Super Saiyans existed made him more uneasy. He sighed. “I guess we just have to keep doing things the honest way, huh? See how far that takes us. I mean, arrogant dictators like Daikon underestimate how far our efforts will take us, right?”
Dragon laughed and clapped Torta on the back. “You’re a stand-up dude!”
Torta took a sip from his canteen. “Oh, you want some Devil’s Tincture?”
“What is it?”
“It’s a magic training aid. Put a drop in your water, and training hurts more but nets twice the results.”
“Oh, no thank you. I’ve heard stories like that on a hundred worlds. Some old mystic says they have a magic potion or something, and they make you jump through hoops to get it, and turns out the potion is water and the jumping through hoops was the training. It’s all placebo.”
Torta’s face lit up. “That sounds really impressive and would be a great story! But no, I’m pretty sure this stuff is real. No way I could have gotten as strong as I have so fast without it.”
“Mind over matter is no joke, dude.”
“Then more for me, I guess. Let’s train!” Torta took a stance, so Dragon followed suit, and they got to work.
The planet Zoon was three weeks away from Cretaceous, though they were delayed a day or two stopping for supplies. During that time, the two traded stories. Torta had never considered his life particularly harsh, but even still, hearing Dragon’s life of struggle and combat made him feel soft by comparison. Dragon’s teen years on the Saiyan homeworld of Sadla were filled with abuse, exploitation, and ridicule, all to make him “stay in his place” in the social order established by Daikon’s grandfather, marked as Dragon was by his removed tail. After getting back off Sadla, Dragon spent all of his time either training to overcome the next enemy or battling his way through warzone after warzone, hoping to liberate those subjugated by the Empire. Torta was impressed with how humble, open, and friendly Dragon still was despite all that. Every dinner conversation humbled him further.
When they landed on Zoon, the two got a taste for what the rest of their adventure would be like. The Dragon Ball had already been surfaced, the yellow three-star ball. The locals were long since evacuated, with Zoon Namekian warriors trying to defend their home village from the ravages of an all-out battle between Saiyans and Demon Clan warriors. There was a full moon, so all the Saiyans were in their Great Ape forms, which were much larger than Torta expected, and some of the Demon Clan similarly assumed giant stature to clash properly.
“So, here’s the plan,” Dragon said. “I’ll go around removing Saiyan tails, turning them back normal size, and then taking them out. I need you to handle the Demon Clan baddies.”
“I guess that’s as clean as this will get,” said Torta. “Looks like the Demon Clan has the ball, too.”
“Let’s go!” said Dragon, rushing out without further ado. He started throwing energy blades left and right, removing five or six tails before anyone noticed his presence.
Whistling in admiration, Torta got himself pumped and charged out himself, tackling a mutant Namekian back into several of her comrades to get their attention. Torta quickly found himself overrun with Demon Clan fighters, some giant and some regular-sized. The numbers were overwhelming at first, but the solution was simple. Yelling, “Sloppy Joe!” loudly, he let burst a massive explosive wave of energy, repelling the enemies with ease.
Dragon passed by Torta on his way to the Dragon Ball. “You’re so slow!” he teased Torta.
Torta was briefly able to see that the Saiyan army was decimated behind him. Torta rolled his eyes. “I’ll get the hang of it,” he said as he took out each of the Demon Clan fighters one by one, while they were still disoriented by the Sloppy Joe.
The remaining forces of each army began to surround Torta, who knew he was in for a long fight. The soldiers in front of him were incredibly powerful; it really put Conch’s statement that she was the weakest officer of Malacol in perspective, when Conch would have been crushed by any of the people Torta now faced. Fortunately for him, his training over the past few months allowed him to crush all of them, in turn; he felt confident he could single-handedly defeat Spats, as well, after training with Dragon.
While Torta was duking it out with these waves of soldiers, Dragon found the Demon Clan leader. “Ok, hand it over!” Dragon demanded.
“What, not even an introduction?” she asked. She had a large, hulking frame, and she carried an axe. The Dragon Ball was in a pocket at her side. “Not that I need one. I’ve heard about you. A dark, dreadlocked no-tail Saiyan rebel, Dragon. Well, I’m Mussel, and it looks like you’re no slouch as a warrior. But I can’t stay mad at you and your friend.” Mussel laughed. “It looks like I finally get to fight a real battle!”
Charging up, Mussel proved to be an incredibly formidable warrior, with chi exceeding what Torta felt from Super Saiyan Hedarrow. She and Dragon traded blows evenly for a while, Dragon countering Mussel’s axe with an energy blade over his hand. Shockwaves from the fight shook the air and caught Demon Clan and leftover Saiyan soldiers off guard, allowing Torta to strike them down more easily.
With a powerful barrage, Dragon took the offensive and drove Mussel back. Mussel visibly struggled against the assault, barely able to keep her guard up. At the end, Dragon flipped through the air and generated an energy blade over his foot, calling out, “Dragon’s Tail!” as he severed Mussel’s axe hand with it.
Mussel got up and looked to her arm stump with surprise. Then she laughed. “Finally, a real warrior!” she said. “I’ve been wanting to meet one! It’s been so long! This war is filled with too many weaklings.” With a grunt, she regenerated her hand and charged in at Dragon, returning his assault with interest to beat him into the ground. With a devastating kick, she knocked Dragon back, landing near Torta. She sneered at Dragon. “Will you become a Super Saiyan, too?” she asked mockingly. “I once killed a Super Saiyan, you know. He was so, so proud of the transformation. Like it matters! Only the weak rely on parlor tricks!”
Hearing this, Torta smiled a little. “Can I have a crack at her?” Torta asked as Dragon got back to his feet. “We have a lot of these fights ahead of us, so there’s no point getting injured.”
“It’s pointless,” Dragon said. “We better fight as a team.”
“I hear you, but let me try for a second, ok?” Torta said, strangely confident. “Jump in if it looks like I need help.”
He approached Mussel, who cackled. “I could kill you both at once!”
“Maybe, but I don’t think so,” said Torta. “I’ve been competing with a Namekian, and now I’m worrying about Saiyans. Me being a ‘boring, normal human’ is no excuse not to try.” Mussel charged in at Torta and Dragon. With one arm, Torta blocked Mussel’s strike, and he knocked her back just as easily. Once more impressed, Mussel smiled as she flew back at Torta, who took over the fight from Dragon. As they fought, it was clear Mussel was putting in more effort than with Dragon, and Torta was similarly pushing himself to a new limit. Dragon sat back and watched in shock at how well Torta did with Mussel. Though he had been training with Torta these past few weeks, he had no idea Torta was capable of so much; when they met, he seemed far lower than Dragon in raw power.
After a hard struggle, Torta managed to meteor kick Mussel into the ground, knocking the wind out of her lungs. “BLT!” he yelled, charging a full power blast as fast as he could. It hit point-blank, burning a hole in Mussel’s chest. With a last gasp, Mussel kicked Torta off of her and tried bringing her axe down on his head, but her life gave out first, and she fell.
Reaching down, Torta removed the Dragon Ball from Mussel’s pocket. He sighed heavily. “Her name sure was fitting,” he remarked. “She had some real muscle to her.”
Dragon stifled his laughter. “Hey, congrats on your win!” he said. “But where were you hiding that kind of power?”
“I wasn’t,” Torta said. “I told you the Devil’s Tincture was real.”
“Darn. Guess I have to start using it, too.”
“Then we should look for a bigger ship, to let loose when we train. There’s plenty around here. You know, I was worried that Super Saiyans would be beyond me. They also train a ton, I’m sure, and can transform, but you see how strong Mussel was? She doesn’t have to transform. She was right about not relying on tricks. We can do this!”
“The wall is a lot steeper than you know. Normal Daikon would have had no trouble beating Super Saiyan Hedarrow in one hit.”
Torta shrugged. “We better get climbing.”
All original story, all original characters! Check out Dragon Ball ‘Redux’!
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Life in the Gutters 